So Why Do You Try To Damage My Airplane?

Yeah, you. You know who you are. Why do you insist on angling your airplane towards the runway and dusting those of us who taxi past while you’re running up your engine? Is it that bloody hard to turn your airplane another 45° and point it in the same direction as the runway?
Apparently, it is. Because, lately, I have never seen as many airplanes angling towards the runway in the runup areas.
Are you all just unconscionably lazy? Or is it a conscious decision to be so rude?
Try to taxi a tailwheel airplane at Montgomery past the 28L runup area when someone blows 2000 rpm directly across the taxiway. Beyond being rude, it is dangerous blasting passing airplanes with runup power. Tailwheel airplanes, by physics, will turn into a source of wind – and all those rpm’s you’re cranking out are wind.
It’s bad enough fighting rotor wash from the helicopters that use taxiway Hotel at for their landing approaches – but having to fight the prop blast from a fellow fixed wing pilot tops this toxic cake.
I’ll assume that your instructor never taught you to turn your airplane parallel to the runway when you start your runup. Or, perhaps he or she did teach you, but you’ve gotten lazy. Please stop. It’s hurtful, ignorant, stupid and rude. When you reach the runup for 28L, please turn your airplane parallel to the runway. Pointing your plane down the runway usually points it into the wind, a good thing. Running up at high rpm without wind blowing across the cylinders is harder on your air-cooled engine, shortening its life. Ideally, you should turn it directly into the wind, but, since the wind is usually out of the southwest at Montgomery, turning your airplane into the wind would make for a difficult turn towards the runway when you’re done. If you did such a thing in a row of hangars, once you were done you’d find your hangar mates surrounding you with sticks, and you’d quickly discover what life is like as a pinata.
Whilst on the topic, let’s touch on other thoughtless behaviors in and around the runup areas. Another that pops into the mind is the limited runup space at 28R and the lack of consideration some pilots exhibit.
You taxi to the 28R runup and there’s no one there. What do you do? If you’re a good pilot, you taxi as close to the hold short bars as you can and turn your airplane to parallel the runway. BUT, if you’re one of the great soiled, slimy unwashed, you plant your stinking fanny right in the middle of the runup area, angled towards the runway, so that, at most, one other airplane can enter the runup, and then at its peril since there’s a great chance that you will blast him when you power up your engine.
Why? Is your logic such that you think, “There is no one is here and I can complete my runup before someone else arrives”? Dimwit.
Additionally, the same clown who takes up a couple of places in a limited runup area, is the one who pulls right up to the dashed line separating the runup from the taxiway. Why? Suppose a really big-winged airplane approaches and it’s not precisely on the center line. Why not taxi to the back of the runup then spin it around and leave some room between your airplane and that dashed line? Why not try to be considerate?
Finally, whose idea was it to taxi up to the hold short bars when your runup is complete, before you’re cleared for takeoff by the tower? Is there a band of fiendish instructors who consciously teach bad flying technique? Or, are we becoming self-important ignorami who believe that we come first, and everyone else comes last?
When you’ve completed your runup, contact the tower and advise them that you are, say, “holding short of 28R, for a right downwind departure.” If the tower controller tells you to taxi up to the hold line, then, by all means, do so. Doing it on your own inconveniences others who may have called in before you and are now stuck behind you.
Worse are those pinheads who taxi up to the hold bars and then call for IFR departure. Sometimes at Montgomery, as well as other airports, we’ve gotta wait until the TRACON can accept our IFR departures. If you’re awaiting “IFR release” sitting at the hold bars blocking access to the runway, you are an incompetent thoughtless bozo of the lowest order. Call for IFR release while you’re in the runup, then be a good fellow and wait until you’re called. It could happen that while you’re blocking access to the runway an air ambulance needs access to the runway in a life-threatening emergency. Suppose the air ambulance patient is someone you know – a family member even. How bad would you feel if you caused someone to lose his or her life because of your thoughtless behavior? Maybe you don’t care. Maybe you don’t know any better. Maybe your instructor is the ignorant bozo. It doesn’t matter. Whatever the damned reason, cut it the hell out. Pilots are, generally speaking, a better breed. Why not act the part.

Posted in Rants